I Have a Problem.. (Pt. 2)

I made one last connection about my Hoarding problem last night: Dragons will find even the smallest piece of Gold and throw it into their pile. They don’t like when an outsider takes any of it either. They can definitely tell when even the smallest bit has gone missing. They’ll fight to the death to get it back too.
This does pertain to me. Everything I keep, I know exactly when something has been moved or taken. I will get upset when I find a possession of mine in someone else’s hands (even if they’re my own siblings). Hell, I’m even wary of letting people BORROW my pens! ‘Cause I have a feeling they won’t give it back or they’ll lose it… and I love ALL my pens. ;w;
But that’s not the point I’m trying to get at here. Yesterday, I decided to remove my Art from a few old galleries I used to have (SheezyArt and Eka’s Portal). In the process, I managed to access my oldest e-mail accounts. A lot of unread e-mails and spam had piled up over the YEARS of me not using them. Hell, I was surprised they even worked anymore.
After cleaning out all of that, I then proceeded to clean out the rest of the e-mails. Upon which, I found old e-mails from my High School years. E-mails from… people I held dear to me. All sent in a time where there was new love and old friendships that went sour. Back and forth arguing and apologizing.
As I went through everything, I did my best not to break down. I couldn’t believe that those e-mails still existed. They dated back to 2005... After seeing all this, I remembered one person I miss more than anything right now. Despite the fact that I said what I said for my New Year’s Resolutions, I will speak his name: David D. Doucet ( a-k-a Dalon Louviere).
I miss him, I truly do. I probably shouldn’t after all that he’s done to humiliate me, but I can’t help it. I still think about him. I still worry about him and hope he’s okay… doing well.. A part of me still loves him deeply and misses talking to him. Having him there for me was… well… it was good.
Anyway, by coming to this conclusion, I realized that my Hoarding problem isn’t just with material possessions. It also has to deal with… people (for lack of a better way to put it). I never like to lose a friendship with anyone, no matter what may’ve happened. I admit this almost all the time. If anything, I still like to keep in Contact. Because, despite everything, I still care about them… and I never did stop caring.

*sighs* I need to work on this as well. Unless I want to continue going through life with a back-breaking load of expired Emotional baggage. : /

Miss you David! Wherever you are.. Whatever you’re doing.. Know that I DO still love you and miss you.

~ BoKo